My Poem

Hahahahhaahahaha.... I'm still laughing about this....

So last night for Relief Society night, we had a service auction. We each wrote down 2 services we were willing to offer. Then we answered questions and got points based on the answers. I won a lunch date with my friend Michell and from Linda- a poem about me that would be presented with a flower. My services offered were to help plan a kids birthday party and bake a batch of cinnamon rolls.

My friend Stacey's, twin sister (who was in town visiting), got the cinnamon rolls. Since Natalie leaves in a few days, this morning I made 2 batches and went to take it to them. When I got home, Linda was pulling out of my driveway. She had left a "gift" for me on the porch. We laughed that we were both already delivering the services that were won last night.

True to her word- she gave me a poem and a flower. The poem is so hysterical that I had to document it. Here it goes:

Ode to Sarah 

by: Sue Heck 

(which is what we jokingly call Linda. 

She reminds a few of us of Sue Heck, from the tv show, "The Middle") 

I have a dear friend, 

who calls herself, Sarah. 

She is lovely and wise

And oh, so fair-ah 

Some call her a "Hoarder!"

Others call her "Party Queen."

Put them together, you got Sarah:

A well-supplied Party Machine!

She smiles when she thinks

of all the holes in her wall.

Right now, she's got roughly

398 in all! 

And if holes make your husband

cringe with dread and fear, 

She will happily convince him, 

Holes can magically disappear. 

She likes a good bargain

She coupons with all her might!

She the "YES- Paper Bandit" 

Who only comes out at night. 

"One out, three in!!" 

Is her motto, yes sir.

But between that and the holes...

I've been grounded from her. 

Hoarder or not, 

She is also quite neat. 

She'll clean any mess,

(Unless its raw meat.)

She likes to sew skirts, 

to wear around town. 

But beware the t-shirt skirt!

It tends to fall down!

If you ever meet Sarah, 

Do tell her Hello!

Then ask for a scoop

of her red, white and blue Jell-o. 

The End

Oh my gosh, isn't this great!!?? Since some of you don't live here, I should explain a few things....

• Lee always calls me a Hoarder because of all my craft stuff. So now people in the ward actually think that I'm a hoarder. For the record, I'm not. You've seen my closets. :) 

• My friends here call me the 'Party Queen' because of my love of parties. 

• Linda's husband cringes when she hangs anything on her walls because he hates the holes. He's very worried they won't get back their deposit from their apartment. I keep assuring him that it'll be ok, and that I haven't lost a deposit yet and "look how many things I've hung!" I have also tried to explain to him that if he's really worried, they can putty the holes and repaint. ("aka: the holes magically disappear) For the record, he isn't convinced yet. 

• The YES paper is a free paper that we get with the weekly coupons. Some of our neighbors don't ever pick up the paper from their driveway, so I swipe it. It's usually at night, unless I have Amy or Will do it. Once Amy asked, "Mom- why are we taking things from people??" I then started having Will do it. He doesn't ask questions. hahaha :)  

• Last night Linda was remarking about her shoe that had broken. I had several pairs of shoes break this summer so I was telling everyone how I replaced one... with 3. And that the "1 in, 1 out," rule doesn't apply to shoes.

• The story of my maternity skirt falling down is still legendary around here. (I had made the maternity top with an old t-shirt. It was a very bad idea that I got from a blog)

• Last year, I hosted a book club for the book 1776. I did it a red, white and blue theme. And I made  red, white and blue jello. They all still laugh at me for this too. 

So anyway, there you have it. This poem is a keeper, for sure! I've got to find a place to hang it! Although I know it was somewhat meant as a joke, and for sure it's hilarious.... but Linda's family will move next year when her husband finishes his PhD program. It's too sad for me to even think of that, as she is a dear friend of mine, one of the best I've ever had. This will always be something I treasure (and read when I need a good laugh!) These were auction points well spent!